


Nuclear Seasons

by MissBass129



Category: Chernobyl (TV 2019)
Genre: Akimov needs a break, Competition, Kirschenbaum is a himbo, M/M, Not necessarily crack but hopefully lighthearted enough, Slow Burn, Stolyarchuk fucks to survive, Toptunov is clueless as per usual, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2020-11-01 09:36:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20812964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBass129/pseuds/MissBass129
Summary: After not writing much of anything in well over a year, I figured I'd try my hand at writing something for this show which I love oh so dearly! I hope you enjoy!Note: The characters in this are based on their HBO depictions and NOT on the real life people





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After not writing much of anything in well over a year, I figured I'd try my hand at writing something for this show which I love oh so dearly! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Note: The characters in this are based on their HBO depictions and NOT on the real life people

“It’s not my decision to make, Comrade Akimov,” Anatoly Dyatlov took a drag from his cigarette and exhaled, his steely gaze piercing him from behind the veil of smoke. “Nor is it yours.”

“I understand, it’s just…” Aleksandr Akimov paused, trying in vain to swallow back the words he knew would ignite his boss’ already short fuse. “I apologize, but these past weeks have been... well, I’m barely keeping up with all my responsibilities as is.”

“Oh? And why is that exactly?” The cold in Dyatlov’s stare didn’t waver, but malice had clearly began to spark in his eyes. Aleksandr knew he had to choose his next words carefully.  
“Please understand I am doing all I can possibly do. I just don’t think now is the right time to have me babysitting anymore new recruits.” He sighed and watched as Dyatlov took another pull on his cigarette, barely flinching when the older man blew the smoke in his face. This wasn’t a battle he was going to win.

“Babysitting? Oh, come on with that bullshit.” Dyatlov rolled his eyes. “Look, Akimov, the kid’s got some degree of skill. I wouldn’t be handing him off to you if he didn’t, you understand? Now I know I said the same thing about Kirschenbaum,” He paused, laughing dryly to himself. “But I can’t imagine he will be quite that bad, alright. All you gotta do is show him around, explain to him what everything does, and make sure he doesn’t fuck around with anything he’s not supposed to. If he stays, he stays, but if he doesn’t, well… Whatever.” Dyatlov gestured diminutively with his hand, his cigarette still burning between his fingers. Aleksandr watched with detached interest as the ash from the lit end floated to the ground like chemical snow. Nothing he could say at this point would change the man’s mind. The die had been cast, and he decided to cut his losses and fall silent. Content with himself, his boss turned to leave, but not before shooting him one last contemptful look. “Just do your job Akimov.”

Aleksandr’s eyes trailed after him. He could feel his face turning red as he shook his head in disgust. After weeks of busting his ass non stop he finally felt like he was going under. Everything seemed to be coming down on him at once, and these days he found himself barely able to keep his head above water. The prospect of him mentoring yet another trainee should have been the last straw. It SHOULD have been. Of course, the reality was he dared not betray his suffering to anyone, especially his boss, lest he be harshly reminded of how “incompetent” he was.

Pacing about the brutal concrete room, he could feel the anger festering within him become more potent. Who did Dyatlov think he was? Putting him in charge of some kid who had never even worked in a nuclear reactor before, much less the actual control room? 

Fuming, he pushed open the dirty glass doors of the administrative building and stepped out into the warm night air. Before him loomed the main reactor complex, its tall smokestack an ominous silhouette against the moonless sky. Dread pooled in his stomach as he stared up at the imposing complex. Over the years, the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant had become something of a second home to him. To say he loved it would be an understatement; he was damn near bound to the place, oftentimes spending well over his scheduled hours there. True he cared deeply for his work and the plant itself, but when he offered his soul to it, it gladly accepted. Tonight it was making good on that deal.

Swallowing hard at the thought of what he knew was going to be a long night, he began making his way back inside to the reactor 4 control room where various stacks of papers and folders waited for him on his desk. 

The halls, cold and industrial, were almost completely deserted save for a handful of engineers scrambling to their posts. The whistle signifying the start of the 5 shift had long since blown, but Aleksandr figured if he was already late, he may as well take his time and enjoy the break the short walk offered him. The echoing of his footsteps, mingling with the buzz of the fluorescent lights and the thrumming of the distant reactor created an almost serene sense of isolation in the now deserted corridor, and he lamented having to leave it so soon. 

Something in the window to his left caught his eye, and he turned towards it. His reflection stared back at him. Haggard and with skin as pale as the white uniform he wore (save for the rings of dark purple underneath his hollow eyes), the man in the window stopped him dead in his tracks. Was this really what he had become? A ghost of sorts? Absentmindedly, he made his way towards the window, his reflection stepping in closer to meet him. Pressing his forehead against the glass he stared out to the distant lights of Pripyat gleaming against the blackened sky. How he wished he could be home, alone in that little flat he called his own. Anywhere but work. The glass felt cool against his hot skin, and the urge to just stay in that empty hallway began to tug at his will. Behind his thick rimmed glasses, his eyelids began to flutter shut and threatened to close entirely under the sheer pressure of his own exhaustion.

“Hey Sasha!” Aleksandr’s eyes shot open as he banged his head against the glass in surprise, yelping a bit as he did. Whirling around, he turned to face the man who had managed to startle him.

“For God’s sake, Borja.” He let out a shaky laugh and palmed his aching forehead. “You almost scared the piss out of me.”

“Almost?” The lanky man before him smirked and propped a hand up on his hip. “You damn near jumped out of your own skin!” 

Boris Stolyarchuk’s cheeky grin faded at the sight of his disheveled friend, wide eyed and still panting a bit. “Are you alright Sasha?” He whispered, his tone instantly softening.

Sasha rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah I’m fine. Thanks for asking. It’s just work has been a bit-,” Boris took a step towards him, causing the words to catch in his throat. “A bit overwhelming.”

Extending an arm, Boris reached up to Sasha’s face and grabbed his crooked glasses, adjusting them a bit until they once again sat comfortably. His long fingers brushed against his clammy skin, causing him to shudder a bit. Sasha shifted his gaze elsewhere, hoping Boris hadn’t noticed. 

“There!” The younger man stepped back, folding his arms as he admired his work. If he had noticed, he certainly wasn’t going to make a mention of it. At least, not here. 

“Uhh thanks.” Sasha looked back to his friend who was now smiling warmly at him. Shaking his head, Boris chuckled to himself.

“You work too hard,” he tugged at Sasha’s sleeve, beckoning him towards the direction of the control room. “You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep this up,” His voice, while still light hearted, was tinged with genuine worry. “And if that happens, who’s gonna protect us all from Dyatlov’s unending fury? Sasha, we need you!”

A small smile began forming underneath Sasha’s mustache. Boris’ presence was definitely a welcome one. He couldn’t remember the last time the two of them had really had the time to talk, and if he was being honest, he missed it. 

“What do you mean ‘we’?” He elbowed him in his skinny ribs. “You’re the one who’s always fucking around Borja! You just like me because you know I’ll let you get away with it!”

Boris turned back to him, his dark eyes bright behind his wire framed glasses. The smirk was back, but Sasha could swear there was more in his stare than just his usual good nature.

“Well… Yes.” Boris broke his gaze and stared ahead of them. “Yes and no. True that you do let a lot of things slide. That being said though, I see you as less of my boss and more of a close friend. I’d hate to lose you here so please, do take care of yourself.”

Sasha felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He put his head down and smiled, unable to help it. Boris had said what he did with the same nonchalance as he said everything else, but Sasha couldn’t help but feel warm inside at his words. Perhaps he was just strung out from work, or perhaps it was something else, but he was touched.

“You don’t see me as your boss? Is that so? Careful Borja, I can change that real quick.” They were nearly at the control room when Boris threw his arm around Sasha and pulled him in. 

“Oh come now! Don’t be like that!” He laughed loudly, his fingers rubbing Sasha’s shoulder, causing him to tense up again. Suddenly he stopped and Sasha felt himself freeze under the other man’s intense gaze. Instead of pulling away, Boris moved in a bit closer till he was all but a few inches from his face. Raising an eyebrow, he regarded him, and Sasha wondered if he was able to hear the heartbeat pounding in his chest. Since when was he like this? 

Despite their undeniable closeness Sasha had always been somewhat nervous around Boris, perhaps intimidated by his striking appearance. With his impressive height and sharp, almost birdlike features complemented well by his unwavering confidence (which Sasha couldn’t help but envy so) Boris was a sight to behold. It seemed like every time Sasha had seen him outside of work, there was always some young woman trailing close behind him, vying for his attention. Although clearly popular with the ladies, Boris never paid them any mind. Sasha had always noticed this behavior with a sort of subconscious understanding, but it wasn’t until recently that he fully understood why. The thought of Boris being interested in him had never really crossed his mind before. After all, what would someone as handsome as him being doing wasting his time with the likes of Sasha? Short, chubby, and oh so average Sasha.

Still, Boris held him there for longer than Sasha would’ve hoped for, his knowing smile burning a hole in his chest, before flinging off him with a laugh and pulling open the door to the reactor number 4 control room.

***

“Wait?” Igor Kirschenbaum set the binder he had been reading down on his panel. “Dyatlov’s asking you to mentor another trainee?” 

Sasha nodded an affirmative before returning to the report he had been reading, having just filled everyone in on the less than pleasant conversation he had with his boss earlier that night.

A loud exasperated whistle came from Boris’ panel, where he had wasted no time making himself at home. Leaning back against the consol, his long limbs were stretched out comfortably as he casually observed his surroundings. “I swear Dyatlov’s trying to kill him,” He sighed, mostly to himself.

“What do you think?” Igor continued, oblivious to Sasha’s clear desire for the conversation to be over. “Senior Control Chief?”

“Yes, Golja. What else?” 

Igor finally took it as his queue to stop talking and swiveled back around in his chair, knocking his binder to the floor in the process. Pages spilled everywhere, causing Igor to swear under his breath. Reluctantly, he got out of his chair and bent over, doubling at the waist to pick them up. Sticking his arse in the air, the young man scuttled about on all fours, occasionally tripping over his own feet. Sasha’s eyes darted nervously from Igor, who was blissfully unaware of the display he was putting on, to Boris. The taller man was at full attention, watching with that same cheeky smirk as his colleague struggled to become organized. Sasha kept looking at him, hoping to draw his attention away from poor Igor, but it was hopeless; Boris’ had his eyes fixed on him, craning his neck a bit to get a better look. Sweat began to form on his forehead, and he contemplated pulling Boris aside; It was this kind of careless lusting that got him caught by Sasha in the first place. Growing desperate (and cursing Igor for taking so damn long with what seemed to only be a few papers), he finally dragged himself to his feet and quietly closed the distance between him and Boris.

“Knock it off.” He whispered in his ear.

***

The clock on the wall of the cafe read 8:47. Sasha knew he should’ve been in bed, but the night had been a hectic one. So much so that the report Dyatlov had specifically asked him to complete for the following night’s shift had lain uncompleted and forgotten about on his desk. That was until he had gotten on the bus. Jumping out of his seat and sprinting back into the building, he forfeited his chance of getting home at his regular time.

Despite the debilitating exhaustion plaguing his body, he had resolved to finish it like he had promised. The small cafe (one of his personal favorites) seemed like the perfect place to do just that. 

Absentmindedly sipping on a coffee, he watched the world come to life around him. It was Saturday, and the foreboding chill in the late September air did little to discourage the town’s children from playing outside. They ran after one another in the open field just across the street, squealing happily as they roughhoused under the watchful eyes of their parents. The sun was already well through its track across the sky, and the world below it was bathed in a vibrant late summer glow. Sasha always thought Pripyat looked so beautiful at this time of year, especially once the leaves began to turn, but today everything seemed off somehow. The happy cries from the children felt almost abrasive to his ears, and the sunlight beating down on him was beginning to make him nauseous. The cool darkness of his empty flat had never felt so inviting. _ I’ve been awake for too long_, he thought, stuffing the half completed report back into his bag.

As he got up to leave, he became aware of something, or rather someone, approaching in his peripheral vision. Before he had time to react the man ran right into him, knocking the half drank coffee from his hands. The cup shattered as coffee flowed into the cracks of the pavement.

“Oh God! I’m so sorry.” Sasha’s attention was quickly turned to the young man who was now inching towards him cautiously. He was tall, even more so that Boris, and rail thin. Clearly flustered, he began sputtering more apologies, his pale blue eyes darting frantically back and forth.

Having had enough, Sasha raised a hand to cut him off. “Just… just be careful next time,” He sighed, despite the rage that was boiling inside him. The young man remained frozen in front of him, his hands still up, mouth agape.

“Well, don’t you have somewhere to be?” He snapped. “Or were you sprinting like a jackass because you felt like it?” The man hung his head a bit and ran his fingers through his thin, blonde hair. 

“I’m really sorry, I- you just kinda came out of nowhere.” He met his eyes, and Sasha could feel his anger quickly die away. 

“Here,” he said, pulling out his wallet. “For another coffee.”

Sasha shook his head. 

“No it’s ok.” He wanted to apologize, but before the words could leave his mouth he noticed the bus which had turned the corner onto the street they were on. 

“Shit!” The blonde man cursed when he too caught sight of the bus and took off again to meet it. Sasha watched his mad dash away, his mouth hanging open with his apology still on the tip of his tongue. Since when had his temper that short? 

He sighed again, letting his shoulders relax as he watched the man climb onto the bus. Perhaps all he needed was a good night’s (or day’s) sleep before work. Well, it wasn’t all he needed, but it was a good start. After all, tonight was the night he was scheduled to meet the new recruit. Leonid Toptunov was the name Dyatlov had given him, and while Sasha wasn’t exactly dying to meet him, he figured the least he could do was show up to work looking presentable.

_“Well, godspeed to you Comrade Toptunov, whoever you may be,”_ He thought with a small smile as he gathered his things. _“Here’s to hoping we both survive the night.”_____

_ _ __ _ _

_ _ __ _ _

***

The administrative building felt like its own little world, isolated and silent save for the echo of a few distant voices. There was nobody out wandering the drab hallways save for Sasha, who found himself pacing a bit as he waited. Checking his watch, he saw the time was 00:56, eleven minutes passed when Dyatlov told him to be there. Where are they? He slumped down onto the uncomfortable, water stained couch outside the door. 

Several more minutes passed before he finally heard voices coming from the other side. Suddenly the door swung open, causing Sasha to rise almost instinctively. Dyatlov, stoic as ever, strode through the now open doorway followed immediately by a very familiar face. It was the man from the cafe, the one who had collided with him. Taken aback, Sasha couldn’t help but blink incredulously as he once again regarded the wiry man.

“Comrade Akimov,” Dyatlov began. “This is Leonid Toptunov.”

Leonid had already been outfitted in the standard white uniform they were all required to wear. It hung awkwardly off his scrawny frame, too loose in some places and too long in others. In a way he looked more like a child playing dress up than an actual adult starting his first day on the job. Unable to meet Sasha’s eyes, he opted instead to stare down at his feet.

“Pleasure to meet you Comrade Akimov,” he stopped wringing his hands in order to extend one out to Sasha, who shook it politely. His hands were cold and shook ever so slightly, betraying his nerves.

“Likewise.” Sasha managed to muster up a smile he hoped appeared genuine. The reality was, he felt almost as uncomfortable as poor Leonid. 

He turned to Dyatlov. “Anything els-”

“No.” Dyatlov lit a cigarette. “You can take him now. Show him the ropes. Do whatever it is you do.” 

Nodding curtly, he turned and headed back through the door, closing in behind him. 

Now that they had been left alone Leonid had stopped playing with his hands, choosing instead to look at Sasha with his head cocked curiously to the side. Between the oversized smock he was wearing and the thin paper hat perched lopsidedly on his head, Sasha couldn’t help but feel there was something oddly endearing about the young man’s undeniably awkward appearance. Sure it was not at all what he had imagined when he had read over the man’s thesis a day prior, but he was more than aware that looks could be deceiving.

“Well Comrade Toptunov,” he broke the heavy silence with a smile. “Welcome to Chernobyl.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I got quite a bit busy with school (Being a performance major is hard y'all!) But anyways, here's the next chapter. I'm not ~super~ happy with the way it turned out, but hopefully you'll enjoy it. 
> 
> Thanks to kriegskrieg for your help!

The locker rooms were empty when Sasha arrived at the power plant. Well, empty save for Leonid. Two weeks had passed since his first night, and he had been adjusting to his new environment remarkably well. Clearly he was no stranger to the reactor itself, possessing a sort of intimate knowledge of its workings that Sasha never would have expected from someone his age. All the preconceived notions he had about the young man vanished almost instantly upon seeing the full extent of his aptitude; undoubtedly, he was more than qualified for the job, and Sasha felt truly bad for having so severely doubted him.

——

“Are you sure you’ve never worked with RBMK reactors before?” They had been standing on a platform overlooking the pump room.

“No. I already told you!” Leonid had his arms folded on the railing as he watched Khodemchuk go about his business below, completely unaware that he was being observed. “All I’ve ever done is read about them.” 

He paused, his pale face flushing red. “Is it that obvious?” 

“Not at all! You’re practically an expert already!” Sasha clapped his bony shoulder. Leonid lurched forward from the impact and collided with the railing. Thinking he had accidentally hurt him, Sasha immediately drew his hand back. Leonid, however, remained unfazed.

“An expert you say?” he giggled a bit, shooting Sasha a cheeky half smile.

“Oh come now. Don’t get cocky.” Sasha remembered himself smiling back.

——

It was 23:15, 45 minutes before their shift started, and Leonid was already dressed and ready to go. _A man after my own heart,_ Sasha thought, shaking his head as he approached him.

Leonid had just finished stuffing his wrinkled street clothes into the locker. He went to close the door, but as he did, a piece of fabric fell out of place and got lodged in it, jamming it. 

“Dammit!” The blonde man hissed, still unaware that he was no longer alone. 

Sasha watched in amusement as Leonid jostled the handle, straining himself almost comically as he yanked at the mechanism. Panting a bit, he stopped to let loose a string of curses under his breath before returning to his endeavours. Sasha had seen enough.

“Comrade Toptunov.” Leonid yelped in surprise at his voice. When he turned to face him, Sasha could see that his cheeks were already turning red.

“Comrade Akimov! I didn’t see you there!”

“Do you need any help with-” Sasha motioned to the stuck locker door.

“I mean you can try, but I doubt it’ll open. It seems like it’s stuck pretty good. That’s ok though, I’ll just worry about it after our shi…” His voice trailed off as Sasha took the handle and, in one forceful upward motion, freed the door. It swung open, dumping all of Leonid’s clothes at his feet. 

Folding his arms, Sasha eyed his companion and playfully raised an eyebrow.

“Oh…” Leonid’s face had now gone completely red as he slowly lowered himself to the ground to retrieve his belongings. Gathering them into a tangled ball, he once again began to shove them back into the locker.

“Come on Comrade Toptunov.” Sasha shook his head again, laughing as he did. “That’s exactly what got you into that mess, and you’re just gonna what? Keep doing it?” 

Leonid said nothing, just kept his back to him, but Sasha swore he heard the younger man giggle.

“Would it kill you to fold your clothes?” He continued. Leonid looked back over his shoulder at him, a slightly sheepish grin stretching across his thin face. 

“And would it kill you, Comrade Akimov,” the locker door swung shut. “To mind your own business and get changed yourself?” He retorted. 

***

By the time the whistle blew, marking the end of the fourth shift, Sasha and Leonid had long been in the control room. The former had found himself once again amidst the many overflowing folders littering his desk as he watched the latter take his place at the control panel. 

The night was progressing smoothly, but there was something bothering Sasha, something he knew he was forgetting to do. It had been nagging at him for the better part of the past thirty minutes, and he racked his brain, trying in vain to remember what it could possibly be. It was no use however, the scuffling of the previous shift’s men filing back into the locker room making it impossible to think.

“Why so early?” Sasha asked when the room fell silent.

“Hmm?” Leonid kept his eyes trained on the control rod display, barely acknowledging the question.

“I said, why are you here so early? It seems every time I try to come in early myself, you’re always already here.”

“I’m trying to- oh never mind. It’s rather stupid.”

“No, no. I promise it’s not.” Sasha could feel a tightness forming in his chest as the image of Leonid, half naked in the middle of the locker room surrounded by the leering faces of the other men, popped into his head. He began preparing himself for the verbal ass kicking he’d have to give should he find out that someone had been harassing Leonid. 

“Well… I need to make a habit of getting to places on time. I’ve always struggled with time management, and figured I should get used to coming in early.” 

Relief washed over him and he allowed himself to exhale. At least Yuvchenko wasn’t giving him a hard time. 

“That’s not stupid,” He smiled, remembering the frantic rush Leonid had been in the first time they met. “I mean, 45 minutes _may_ be a little excessive, but at least you’re self aware unlike…” 

He stopped himself as Igor Kirschenbaum entered the room, humming happily to himself as he sauntered over to his own panel, completely oblivious to the men regarding him. Leonid looked to Sasha and shot him a quick, knowing smile. 

At this, a gear slid back into place in his mind, and Sasha finally remembered what he had been forgetting to do.

——

Earlier that week, while tidying up his closet, he had stumbled upon an old set of manuals detailing the operation of RBMK reactors that had likely been gathering dust there for well over a year. 

He skimmed through a few. While slightly outdated in places, the information given still held true, and Sasha figured it would be the perfect ‘welcome’ gift for young Leonid. 

——

“You really think he’d get much use out of these?” Boris had asked, holding one of the manuals out from his face. He squinted incredulously at the thoroughly labeled diagram on the page, before turning back to Sasha. They had been leaving locker room on their way to start the shift when Boris had inquired about the various books he had been holding.

“I hope so,” Sasha took the book back and shut it. “Otherwise I’m just giving him 900 pages of bullshit.”

They walked towards the control room, chatting amiably amongst themselves when Sasha suddenly remembered that he needed to find Dyatlov about something. Nothing noteworthy, just a minor accident that had occurred the night prior. He nudged Boris’ arm.

“Actually, I have something I need to take care of so can you take these?” He handed the stack of manuals to him. “Place them on my desk, and remind me to give them to Comrade Toptunov.”

——

How could he have forgotten? They’d been on his desk this whole time. Or, actually… His eyes trailed about the clutter. Had they been? 

He sifted through the papers in front of him, a puzzled expression growing on his face as he searched. No, he wasn’t going crazy; they definitely weren’t there. Perhaps Boris had misplaced them and just neglected to tell him.

The sound of the heavy doors swinging open caught Sasha’s attention. Boris Stolyarchuk, as if summoned by the thought, strode into the room. He held something to his chest, and Sasha could see it was a stack of books. _That answers that question,_ he thought, watching as Boris made his way over to the control rod panel.

From his chair, all Leonid could do was look up at the dark haired man who now stood over him.

“Brought you something,” He set the books down on the console. Leonid eyed them for a second before giving him a questioning look. Seeing his confusion, Boris continued. “Old manuals. We figured if you’re gonna work here, you should at least know how the reactor works.”

Leonid opened his mouth to retort, his face indignant, but got cut off.

“It’s just a joke, don’t worry. You know your shit, alright!” He laughed, placing his now free hand on the back of Leonid’s chair. Hunching over, he brought his face closer to Leonid. “Still, they’d be worth going over.” 

Stretching an arm out, Leonid reached for the top book. Despite his impressively long arms, where Boris had set them was ever so slightly out of his reach. Raising a bit from his chair, he crossed his slender body across Boris’ in the endeavor. 

Turning to Sasha, Boris shot him a devious smile. Sasha, in turn, glared back. 

“And of course, if there’s anything you need clarification on, you know I’m an expert, so never be afraid to come find me. Hell, you can even come over to my house if you want, I won’t mind.”

He grabbed Leonid’s shoulder and shook him lightly, never once faltering his fixed gaze. Sasha watched with disdain as Leonid smiled up at him. They already seemed so close. 

He knew he should have been happy. He knew Boris was exactly what the young man needed. He knew, that from the hole he had dug himself into, that he alone wouldn’t be able to properly watch over Leonid. He should have been grateful that Boris had stepped in so quickly to take some of the burden off him.

Not that Leonid was a burden. Sasha frowned, guilt creeping into him for even considering the impossibly bright young man to be a liability. 

Boris, clearly satisfied with the move he had made, sauntered over to Sasha’s desk.

“Evening Sasha,” he lit up a cigarette and took a seat on the table.

“We’re not supposed to smoke in here.”

“I know.”

Anger rose in his throat. Before he could stop himself, he got up and in one smooth motion, plucked the cigarette from Boris’s lips. 

“What did I just say?” Boris stared at him, dumbfounded. It wasn’t like Sasha to lash out like that. A quiet, if not meek, man by nature, Sasha was not one to take the role of enforcer, despite being the shift leader. 

Boris straightened up, sliding off the table. “Uh… Sorry. I’ll stop.” 

He slunk back to his panel, occasionally shooting glances back in Akimov’s direction.

Guilt tugged at Sasha. He wanted to apologize. Besides, was this really the image he wanted to paint of himself for Leonid? That of a stuck up, stuffy asshole? 

As if he could read his mind, Leonid caught his eye in a sideways glance and smiled warmly at him, his blue eyes bright in the low lighting of the control room. 

_God, how handsome he was._ The thought caught him by surprise, making his stomach lurch. Instantly he swept it away. He shouldn’t be thinking like that; Leonid was his colleague, a professional just like him. It wasn't right for him to be admiring him like that.

“Remember, If you ever have any questions about anything,” Boris was back at Leonid’s side. He patted him on the back, leaving his hand there a bit too long. “Never hesitate to ask. I don’t bite. Well I do, but don’t worry about that!” 

He winked playfully at the blonde man. To an untrained eye his demeanor was strictly good natured, but Sasha knew his friend well enough to see through it. And he despised him for it.

There was nothing predatory about Boris’s flirting per say, but it was the nonchalant manner with which he did so that truly bothered Sasha. It was like he didn’t care that people noticed what he was doing. In fact, it was almost as if he _wanted_ people to know. 

Boris looked the very real danger he was in right in the face and didn’t even bat an eye. Did it matter to him? Did he know the consequences his actions would have should he get caught? He got lucky with Sasha. Surely he knew that, but did he know to what extent? 

Sasha sighed, staring at the back of his friend’s head with a mixture of annoyance and pure worry. 

Boris, sensing his eyes on him, turned around. He waved silently at him, a smile touching his lips, and Sasha couldn’t help but smile back.

***

“Khodemchuk and Perevozchenko invited me out for drinks tomorrow, and they’ve asked me to extend the invitation to all of you.” 

Sasha perked up. God knows he could use a drink after the week he had.

“What do you think Leonid? Would you keep me company? They talk too much, you know, and I could use someone a bit more… interesting there,” Boris continued.

“I don’t know,” Leonid shrugged. “They don’t really know me, so I’m not su-“

“Of course they don’t know you,” Boris cut him off, playfully rolling his eyes in an exaggerated gesture. “That’s the whole point in inviting you!”

“I’ll go as long as you don’t leave me alone with them.” Sasha felt his throat tighten at his words.

“I’ll protect you, I promise. How about you Sasha?”

“No thanks,” He knew how sloppy Boris got while drunk, and the thought of him flirting unabashedly with Leonid in front of their colleagues made his stomach turn. “I have work to do.”

Boris scoffed, placing a hand on the back of Sasha’s neck. Sasha instantly felt himself soften under his touch. No matter how many times he told himself not to, he wished Boris would touch him more often. “Please take a break. If not for you, then for me.”

He gently rubbed the bare skin of his neck with his thumb, and Sasha found it nearly impossible to pull his gaze away from his friend. Still, he hesitated.

“Oh, do come Comrade Akimov!” Leonid piped up. “Boris is right, you work too hard. Let’s all just take a day to ourselves. I’m sure your work can wait.” 

He looked so hopeful. And who was he to say no to Leonid’s sincerity.

“Fine.”

***

Leonid stumbled about beside him, grabbing at the arm of his jacket in a desperate attempt to stay upright. Sasha watched him, worried that at any moment he’d collapse.

Placing a reassuring hand on the small of his back, he steadied his disoriented companion.

“Where almost there. Just a bit further.” 

“I’m… I think I’m going to be sick,” Leonid moaned, resting his head on Sasha’s shoulder.

“You’re gonna be fine. Do you need to stop for a bit?” He motioned towards one of the park benches along the cement path.

Leonid swallowed hard and nodded shakily.

——

Leonid had been drinking. Heavily. They all had been, save for Sasha who had limited himself to only two glasses, but it was Leonid who most severely succumbed to the drink’s effects. His speech had become slurred, and he struggled to sit upright.

“Look at him!” exclaimed Perevozchenko, motioning towards the intoxicated man. “You sure you’re a real Soviet?”

He lightly socked Leonid’s arm. Leonid flinched, glaring at the man as the others laughed, taunting his frailty. Boris, at his side as always, noticed his discomfort and spoke up.

“Oh go stuff yourself Valera,” he pointed at Perevozchenko, swinging his limbs about in a way that betrayed his own inebriation. “Leonid is doing just fine. Aren’t you?”

Leonid nodded, looking up Boris, his eyes full of admiration.

Without warning, Boris pulled Leonid to his feet. He slung his arm around his waist and yanked him in close, spilling his drink all over him in the process. Leonid paid the stain dripping down his chest no mind as he threw both arms about Boris’ midsection.

“Congrats to Leonid for making it this far,” he exclaimed, raising his own half full glass of vodka. “Here’s to hoping the bastard sticks around!” 

The other men cheered and Sasha couldn’t help but join in with them. He looked at Leonid, smiling so wide as he buried his face in Boris’ neck.

A pang of sorrow grasped at his insides. How happy he looked with Boris. Sasha wished… well he didn’t know what he wished. He pulled his gaze away from the pair, staring down into his drink as if it had the answer. 

——

“Leonid?” Sasha nudged him. The man didn’t flinch. He just stared, his glazed eyes slipping shut. 

“Leonid, we’ve been here five minutes. Are we ok to continue?”

“What did you call me?”

He turned to Sasha, a flash of sobriety crossing his eyes. Sasha flinched. He had never referred to Leonid by his first name before. It wasn’t a conscious mistake. It just felt so natural.

“Sorry Comra-“

“It’s Leonid.” He smiled slightly, his drunken haze returning. “But only if you want!”

He did.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

On shaky legs he stood, wrapping both of his slender arms around one of Sasha’s larger ones.

From the open window of one of the houses they passed floated a melancholy tune. Sasha recognized it as the Romance from Prokofiev’s _Lieutenant Kije_ suite. The scratch of the phonograph did little to obscure the ethereal melody played on the double bass.

Wasn’t this the part of the suite where Kije was stumbling about drunk, yearning for his love? He looked to Leonid, still holding tight to his arm. Who were his thoughts about? Sasha wondered, that same inexplicable feeling of sorrow returning.

“This is me right here,” Leonid pointed to the drab, grey building coming up on their left. It was a sad sight, the cracks in the paint like road maps running the lengths of its face. Peering through the dusty windows, Sasha could make out the interiors of the tiny flats, barely big enough for one person.

“Thank you for walking me back.” Leonid released from Sasha and began making his way to the front door. “I hope I wasn’t too much of a hassle.”

“Not at all!”

“But you live in the complete opposite direction! It’ll take you half an hour to get home.”

Sasha laughed, shaking his head. “Leonid, knowing you’re home safe and not passed out in a ditch somewhere makes the trip well worth it.”

Leonid didn’t say anything. He just stood there regarding Sasha with those wide sky blue eyes. 

“You really shouldn’t worry so much about me.” He said after a moment, frowning a bit. 

“I’m afraid I care too much not to worry.” 

An unplaceable emotion darkened Leonid’s face, and for a moment Sasha could swear he saw all of his own desires reflected in his eyes.

Leonid stepped towards him, closing the distance between them. Wrapping his long arms around Sasha, he pulled him into a tight hug. Sasha let out a small gasp as he returned the gesture, marveling at just how warm Leonid felt. He held him close, shivering at the sensation of the other man’s breath against his bare, wind blasted skin.

“Thank you Comrade Akimov,” Leonid said, his voice low.

“Sasha.” 

He remained silent, but Sasha could swear he could sense him smiling. Finally he pulled away, his hands brushing against Sasha’s arms as he did.

“Well, I guess this is good night, Com- I mean Sasha.”

“Good night, Leonid.” Sasha watched as he slipped inside, the heavy door shutting loudly behind him. 

He stood there, staring after him. The wind had begun to pick up, tugging roughly at the scarf about his neck. He paid it little attention though, his mind still reeling from Leonid’s embrace.

He sighed, knowing there was no use in lying to himself anymore. 

He wanted Leonid too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I promise things will pick up more in the next chapter, if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> Here is the piece referenced (https://youtu.be/n1scluzlPz0) It is one of the only major orchestral pieces to feature a double bass solo, and since I recently performed said solo at a rep class, it's been on my mind, and I thought it fit. Enjoy!
> 
> Lastly, feel free to come find me on discord at MissBass129#6924. I'd love to meet you guys, so feel free to come and say hi!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo boy it's been awhile. Music school really be kicking my ass sometimes... Still I figured I'd actually try and continue this, so to whoever's still around to read this: thank you! I hope you enjoy!

The abrasive ring of the digital alarm clock cut through the darkened room. Leonid stirred but kept his eyes closed, groaning as he fumbled blindly for the off button. _Was it really time to get up already?_ Slowly, he willed his protesting body to a seated position. Slinging his feet off the side of the bed, he sat there for a moment, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

It was his day off, finally, but his schedule was hardly clear. He looked to the phone on his nightstand and contemplated just calling Boris, canceling the whole ordeal.

His hand hovered over the receiver, but before he could pick it up to dial his comrade’s number, something inside of him caused him to stop. That call was the last thing he should have been making now.

He sighed, withdrawing defeated, but he knew it was the right choice; he was in no state to talk to Boris. Not with… _No, Leonid. Just don’t think about it,_ his mind scolded him for wandering.

The dim bathroom lights casted deep shadows about his face, further highlighting his exhaustion, as he prepared for the day ahead.

Brushing his teeth, he made sure to keep his gaze turned upward and his thoughts on the task at hand. He didn’t know why he refused to acknowledge it. He was alone after all, nobody to mock him but himself. It shouldn’t have mattered.

Still though, he continued on pretending nothing was off, all the while begrudgingly wishing he didn’t have to start another morning like this.

_If I just ignore it, it will go away,_ he thought resentfully. However the more he tried to, the more the uncomfortable tightness in his pants demanded his attention.

He had been dreaming. Again. It was Boris. It was always Boris.

This time they were against the control panel, Leonid’s legs on Boris’ shoulders as he thrusted into him. His head jerked back, slamming against the metal, sending a jolt of pain down his spine. Leonid hardly noticed though as he squirmed underneath the other man.

“More,” he whispered between gasps, grasping at the man above him, his fingers twisting into his white uniform. “Please Borja, more.”

Boris smiled wickedly and gave him a look that seemed to say ‘you sure?’ before ramming his hips against Leonid’s bony ass, pushing even deeper inside the slender man.

Leonid cried out, his insides feeling like they might tear, but at the same time loving every second of it as Boris hit that one particular spot again and again.

Feeling he was close, Leonid desperately threw his arm out to the side, frantically grasping for something to hold on to. Instead he felt his hand collide with one of the buttons on the panel. Instantly an alarm started blaring, lights above them started flashing.

“What did you do?” Boris shouted at him. Leonid looked up at him fearfully before looking to the button he had pressed. His heart sank as panic began to set in.

Above the button, in red letters, read: AZ-5. 

Thankfully it was around that time that the part of his brain responsible for his dreams decided it too wanted to shut down, and he awoke in his bed, still painfully hard.

——

Setting his toothbrush down, he let his arm fall back to his side, only to accidentally brush against his erection with his hand as he did. He let out a tiny whine as he fought back the urge to put his hands on himself.

It wasn’t much use though. Staring at his clock, he realized he only had thirty minutes before he needed to meet Boris at his flat. A series of questions had come up the day prior during his shift, and while he had been terrified of letting his inexperience shine through, Boris had reassured him as he always did.

_“Don’t worry about it, Lenya. Hell, if you want to come over tomorrow, I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you still have.”_ Boris had smiled warmly at him, his dark eyes shining as his face lit up. _He's... beautiful,_ Leonid’s mind couldn’t help but exclaim, but no sooner had the thought been conjured did red hot shame burn his face, just beneath the skin. He had to stop thinking of him like that. He couldn’t afford to let anyone, especially Boris, know the thoughts that swam about his head, inhabiting the dark corners he’d rather forget were there.

Years of training himself to bury his desires served him well at work, but all his defenses withered away the second he fell asleep. 

That same burning in his cheeks was back as he slipped his hand into his underwear, taking ahold of himself. Begrudgingly, he began moving his hand, moaning softly as he got to work. It felt like a curse, every second growing exasperation, but he knew he couldn’t leave without taking care of himself. After all, how could he expect a productive meeting with Boris like this?  
A few agonizing minutes later, and he was finally cleaning himself off. He shook his head, disappointed in himself as he tossed the now dirty towel into the hamper as he began pulling on the rest of the day’s clothes.

Skipping breakfast entirely, he flew out the door of his flat, a small note with a scribbled street address in his left hand and the last of his remorse dying away inside him.

* * *

Sasha stared up at the ceiling, his eyes tracing patterns in the uneven plaster. The few drinks he had earlier in the day had done nothing to lull him to sleep. He didn’t know how long he had been lying there, awake. It felt like hours, but could very well have been only minutes.

His head was uncomfortably full, and for this, he saw no obvious remedy. Having long since given up on getting much needed rest, he just lay there, basking in the film playing behind his eyes.

Two more weeks had passed since he had walked Leonid home. A part of him wished he never had. He should’ve just let Boris do the honors; he had tried to convince Sasha to let him, after all. Sasha in turn, had demanded he do it instead.

He knew it didn’t matter; those feelings he had for Leonid, they had always been there. He realized that now, and it was only a matter of time before they burned a hole through the cell he had locked them in.

That wasn’t what was bothering him though, his thoughts turning to the main source of his distress.

_Boris. Fucking Boris._ Sasha’s fist clenched instinctively as the image of his friend, as handsome as ever with that same self assured smile, appeared in his mind, resentment instantly growing in his chest.

Boris had become more bold following that day, even for his standards. By now he practically refused to leave Leonid’s side, the two nearly inseparable, his eyes shamelessly tracing over his slight figure. When he got comfortable getting away with something as benign as just looking he moved on to compliment him. It started subtle as always, a quick congratulating on a job well done, but quickly devolved as time wore on.

——

“So you don’t have a girlfriend?” Sasha had tuned out most of what they had been saying up until that point, focusing instead on his work, but this managed to rouse him from his concentration. Already he felt the dread building inside him as he subtly tried to turn his attention to the conversation taking place on the opposite side of the room.

“No, no,” Leonid shook his head. He sat on the control panel looking up at Boris, the latter dangerously invading his personal space. Leonid, if he noticed, didn’t care as he continued. “I don’t know, I’ve never really had any luck finding a girl.”

“Really?” Boris cocked his head at him, smirking, and in that moment Sasha wanted nothing more than to smack him. _Maybe that would take care of that dumb fucking smile._ “For someone like you? Please.”

“What do you mean?” Sasha braced himself for Boris’ answer.

“Come on Leonid. Give yourself some credit. You’re smart. You’re handsome. You’re everything a woman wants. Fuck’s sake, if I was a girl I’d be all over you!”

Sasha looked up from the report in his hands only to be met with a very red faced Leonid, grinning up at a very cheeky Boris. 

Occasionally, Leonid would seem to freeze, falling silent against Boris’ too-close presence. Sasha began to wonder if Leonid was beginning to catch on, began to wonder if Boris knew just how direct he was being. If Leonid had been a woman, surely he would’ve noticed by now. _Surely they would’ve already been together._

——

He sat up, suddenly restless. He needed a walk, some fresh air, anything that wasn’t the stuffyness of his bedroom.

Hastily throwing on a pair of clothes and brushing his hair till it looked somewhat presentable, he grabbed his coat, slipping out the door.

He had no destination in mind as he made his way through the lonely streets of Pripyat. It was early morning and the sun’s rays were just beginning to backlight the heavy clouds, illuminating the world around him in a light gray haze. A heavy mist hung in the air, causing condensation to accumulate on his glasses. Sasha never minded a dreary day, but the ominous low hanging clouds seemed to warn him not to stray too far from home. 

Turning right at a crossroads he caught sight of a familiar building. Boris’ apartment complex. The closer he got to it, the more he caught his eyes scanning from window to darkened window. Staring up at the bleak structure, he felt a strange anxiety set in, but he couldn’t quite place it.

He shook his head, willing it away as he turned his gaze to the ground ahead of him. But not before he noticed movement coming from the main entrance.

A tall figure stepped, almost cautiously, out onto the main road. Skinny as could be under a heavy coat with blonde hair clearly visible despite the hat covering his head, Leonid Toptunov was unmistakable.

Sasha opened his mouth to call out to him, arm raised in preparation to motion him over when a sudden realization hit him. He knew exactly what he had been up to, his hand withering back down to his side as mild unease once again set in.

As he watched from the opposite side of the street, Leonid disappeared off into the dense fog, never once noticing the figure watching him from across the street.

* * *

Boris’ apartment was on the eighth floor. Entering the lobby, Sasha noticed with an exasperated sigh that the elevator was still out of order. _How long had it been? Two months?_ No matter. He had made the trip up the steep concrete stairs many a time.

Unfortunately, he had never quite gotten used to it; Stopping to catch his breath on the sixth floor landing, he cursed the poor shape he was in. What a sight he must have been: fat, red faced and wheezing. Truly he was in no place to be seen by his comrade; It was hardly professional.

At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. Truth was, ever since the night Boris startled him in the hallway, Sasha had been much more conscious of his appearance around him.

He contemplated just letting it go. Letting it go and just going home.

The dim fluorescent light sputtered above him, the sound of it agitating his already fried nerves. No, he couldn’t go home. He was tired of Boris’ reckless behavior; The man walked a fragile line, playing with fire like he did, and sooner or later, he was going to get burned.

Cursing his friend and the situation he put him in, Sasha grabbed tightly to the railing as he continued his ascent.

——

Sasha knocked again, louder this time. _Damn it Boris, open the door._ He wrung his hands anxiously. It had been almost a minute of waiting, and… nothing.

“Come on, come on,” Sasha whispered to himself, the frustration in his voice showing. Still, the door remained shut. Pressing an ear to it, he could make out nothing. No sounds, no indication that anyone was home.

Sighing in defeat, he turned to finally head home, only making it halfway down the hallway when the sound of a lock turning caused him to stop.

“What the fu- Wait, Sasha is that you?” Boris peeked his head out from behind the doorway, a wide smile brightening his angular features when he saw who had come knocking. “What are you doing here?”

“Boris, I need to talk to you,” Sasha’s voice came out harsher than he had wanted, and he noticed, much to his embarrassment, that he was still panting a bit.

Boris’ face fell, an expression of mild concern washing over him. “Oh? Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything is fine. There’s just something that’s been on my mind.” Boris nodded, confused, but motioned for him to follow.

The apartment was small and cramped, just as Sasha remembered it. How remarkably clean it always was though; nothing like the man who occupied it.

Tonight, the space was as immaculate as ever, save for the various schematics and diagrams strewn about the living room table.

Sasha looked at one, a sketched out blueprint of the reactor and upper biological shield with the name ‘Elena’ lovingly penciled in beside it.

“Anything to drink?” Boris motioned to an already half empty bottle of vodka on the windowsill.

Sasha knew he shouldn’t.

“Sure,” he sat on the well worn black couch and watched his friend pour them both a glass. Catching him staring, Boris gave him a puzzled look.

“What’s this about?” He set the glass on the table in front of Sasha and sat closely beside him.

Sasha swallowed hard, realizing then the mistake he made; what business did he have in being here? Going into Boris’ home and ordering him about like they were at work? He shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his sweaty hair.

“Leonid,” he said after a moment. He looked at Boris, only to see the man was laughing, shaking his head slightly.

“Come on Sasha,” he rested his elbow on the back of the couch and propped up his head in his hand. “He was just here because he had questions, and he knew I had answers.” He motioned to the diagrams on the table.

“Boris, as your boss and your friend, I’m telling you you have to stop this.”

“Stop what?” Boris scoffed, almost incredulously.

“The flirting, Boris. The inviting him into your house.”

“Oh come on Sasha, don’t play that game with me. I know you want him too, I see it in the way you look at him,” He scoffed. “But that doesn’t make him off limits to me.”

Sasha blinked, rattled at how casual he sounded saying what he did. Trying to play it off, he retorted.

“I don’t know where you get your delusions Boris,” he shook his head, hoping to appear indignant. “But that’s not the problem. The problem is you’re not exactly being subtle about it. I think people, including Leonid, have started to notice.” He turned to look at his friend, who was sitting only a few centimeters away from him.

“I’m just worried. Worried about you,” he continued. It wasn’t exactly a confession per say, but Sasha couldn’t help but feel the weight of his words as he spoke them. Boris, his face still neutral, scooted closer to him.

Sasha’s stomach dropped, and he wondered if Boris could sense how uncomfortable he was at their new found closeness.

“Do you know the hassle we would have to go through to replace you?” He swatted playfully at Boris’ arm, hoping to create some distance between them.

Boris laughed but refused to budge. “I think Lenya is into it.”

Sasha flinched at the use of Leonid’s diminutive. “You’re projecting Boris. What makes you think he’s like u-”

“Sasha, look at him!” Boris shook his head, disappointed in his friend’s lack of awareness. “He’s not exactly subtle himself.”

Sasha knew he was right, but still pushed back. “You don’t know that Borja. There’s a good chance you’re right, I’ll admit, but...” he trailed off. “Still, just... be careful. I guess that’s what I’m getting at here.”

“I know, I know,” Boris sighed. “I just haven’t been with anyone in over a year, and I’m getting a bit antsy, if I’m being honest.”

All the times Sasha had spent alone in the dark with himself came back to him, and he gave Boris an understanding nod, trying to turn his eyes elsewhere.

“See, you get it.” Boris laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder, leaving it in place. “When was the last time for you?”

Blood immediately rushed to Sasha’s face, and he contemplated just getting up and leaving. Boris didn’t know he was a virgin, no one did. He never disclosed much of anything about his personal life, much less who he had (or hadn’t) been sleeping with.

“I uh, I haven't… Never.” He kept his gaze focused on one of the diagrams in front of him. Beside him, he could feel Boris shift a bit.

“Never? Sasha you’re like, what? 32 years old? What do you mean you’ve nev-” Sasha shot him a lethal glare, and he backed off.

“Not even with a woman?”

He shook his head no. “I don’t think I could.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t either, don’t worry.” Boris reassured him. He opened his mouth as if to add on, but closed it after a moment, deciding instead to let a curious silence grow between them as he reached for the now nearly empty bottle beside them. Tilting his head back, he drank straight from it as he pretended to shift his focus to something on the other side of the room.

Sasha never took his gaze off him though, noticing how slick his lips had become with the clear liquid and observing closely the subtle movement of his throat every time he swallowed. Maybe it was just the intimacy of the setting he found himself in, but there was something almost _erotic_ about it. Sasha’s heart stilled momentarily, and he tried to reprimand himself, to remind himself why, exactly, he was there.

The feeling that something was different now never went away though. It felt almost familiar, and Sasha soon realized why; That night in the hallway, when Boris fixed his glasses, his fingers on Sasha’s bare skin when he pulled away. It had been there then too, and now it was back. Now that they were once again alone.

Once finished, Boris turned his head ever so slightly towards him, giving him the hint of a sly smile, and Sasha could see there was something in those bright eyes of his. He felt it too. _Look what you’ve gotten yourself into, Sasha._

“You’ve never kissed another man?” Boris asked after a moment. Clearly he meant no harm with the question, his tone mostly inquisitive, but again there was that _something_ mixed in, and Sasha could feel mild frustration rise in his chest.

“No Boris I haven’t, and If you’re trying to mock m-”

“Would you like to?” Boris interjected, causing the anger to die away instantly, giving way to incredulity.

“What are you getting at?” Sasha raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a slight smile. Boris laughed, shaking his head.

“Sasha. I’m asking if I can kiss you.”

Sasha’s smile widened. He could tell himself that he didn’t want it, but by now it was useless.

He turned to his friend, mere centimeters from his face.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

It was Boris’ turn to smile as he placed both hands on Sasha’s neck, tilting his chin up with his thumb. Leaning in, he gently pressed their lips together. At first, Sasha hesitated, unsure of what to do. It was all so new to him, his hand shyly drifting up to the back of Boris’ head.

Combing his fingers through his dark hair, Sasha pressed into him, kissing him back. He was so transfixed with the taste of alcohol still on the other man’s lips. It was almost intoxicating, and he had to wonder, having drank a considerable amount, if he himself tasted that good. How long had he wanted this? Not just with Boris, but with anyone?

Slowly but surely, Sasha allowed his eyes to flutter close, his initial tension beginning to dissolve until Boris pulled back a bit.

“Keep going?” He breathed, their lips still touching. Sasha just nodded slightly, keeping his eyes closed as Boris parted his lips, sliding them back into place.

Sasha moaned, feeling Boris’s tongue meet his. He clawed at the younger man’s shirt, trying to pull him in closer. He complied, running his hand down the length of Sasha’s body to his waist, digging his fingers into the soft flesh. The feeling of being touched like that made his heart skip a beat; He wasn’t aware of just how starved for affection he was until now, and he could feel himself getting hard.

Noticing the effect he was having on him, Boris moved his hand down further, running his fingers along the length of his erection, feeling him up through his pants.

Grabbing at his belt, Sasha’s eyes widened as Boris began working to undo the buckle. A part of him screamed at him to run, to get up and leave that tiny apartment, but his new found libido kept him in place.

“Is this okay?” Boris once again paused. “I know it’s a bit fast but-”

“No, it’s alright,” Sasha responded before his mind could change. He didn’t want Boris. Not as a lover at least, but this? This was more than fine.

By now Boris had managed to remove his belt and undo his zipper. He pulled down his pants a bit, freeing him.

Instantly Sasha’s face burned red at his new found immodesty, but that soon faded away when he saw the look in his friend’s eyes. It surprised him, seeing him so desperate like that. _Desperate for him,_ Sasha realized, his arousal growing along with his anxiety.

Boris wrapped his fingers around his cock, causing Sasha to freeze up a bit, and lowered his mouth to it.

“Is this ok?” He asked, looking up at him wide-eyed.

Sasha swallowed hard, nodding. “Y-yes.”

Taking the head of his cock in his mouth, Boris began sucking on him, rather roughly, but Sasha didn’t mind. It felt foreign to him. New but at the same time, exactly how he imagined it would feel. And it was wonderful, the inside of Boris’ mouth, so hot and so wet, threatening to drive him insane.

He moaned softly, once again running his fingers through Boris’ hair as he gently pushed his head farther down onto his cock.

He complied, taking him fully into his mouth and sliding him back down his throat with ease.

“Oh god,” Sasha hissed as Boris swallowed hard against him, the walls of his already tight throat constricting maddeningly around the head of his cock. Clearly he was no stranger to this, and Sasha once again felt the creeping embarrassment of his own inexperience setting in.

Boris carried on, oblivious to Sasha’s shame, moving his head up and down in long, deliberate motions.

Before long Sasha gave into him, finally allowing his intrusive thoughts to dissipate, and for a few minutes he was able to relax until:

“Borja, wait! I’m thinking I’m going to-“ he stuttered, mild panic rising in his chest. Boris’ eyes flickered up to meet his, but he didn’t stop.

“Borja what are you doing?” Sasha bit his lip, desperately trying to keep himself from crying out as he came dangerously close to finishing. Again, Boris didn’t listen, moving his head faster until suddenly it all became too much, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He came hard, spilling his seed down the back of Boris’ throat, but the other man didn’t even flinch.

Only when Sasha finished did Boris pull away. He looked up at him, locking eyes and swallowing hard before giving him a playful peck on the lips.

“Stop that!” Sasha laughed, shoving him away. “You taste like...”

“Your dick?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

Boris cocked his head to the side, mischievously eyeing him. “I wouldn’t say that’s a bad thing, though.”

“Well, I’m sure it’s not to _you_,” He smiled before once again meeting Boris’ eyes. His tone shifted to one of sincerity. “Thank you, I…” He trailed off.

“Hmm? Well, what did you think? Did you like it?”

“Very.” It was Sasha’s turn to kiss Boris. It was a slow, shallow kiss, but Sasha could sense something of desire still on his friend.

“Good, good,” Boris breathed, pulling away.

“Would you like me to,” Sasha motioned downwards. “You know. As well?”

Boris’ hand had begun undoing his belt buckle before the words could leave his mouth. “Oh, Sasha, you don’t even have to ask!” He grinned wildly at him, beckoning him closer.

A new fear, that of being a disappointment, made itself known from the back of his mind. Sasha tried to ignore it as he crawled over to him. Hesitantly, he positioned himself next to him before sliding his hand beneath the elastic of his underwear.

Boris’ cock was already slick with precum when Sasha took it in his hand, and right away he felt a bit more confident, knowing it was all his doing. Slowly, he began moving his hand up and down, gently at first until Boris began to moan.

“Faster, Sasha,” he closed his eyes, letting his head fall back as he yanked down on his trousers.

Sasha’s eyes widened as he stared at Boris’ now exposed cock. A part of him always expected him to be ‘gifted’ from what little he was able to discern from quick glances in the locker room, but nothing like this.

“Like what you see?” Boris’ usual cheeky smile was back, but his eyes were still closed. His face was flushed, and although Sasha knew he was trying to hide it, he was clearly wickedly aroused.

“Very,” Sasha breathed as he put his lips to the head of Boris’s cock, kissing it gently.

“Oh god!” Boris hissed. “Please, Sasha, keep going.”

Sasha complied, taking as much of his partner in as possible, but once it hit the back of his throat he stopped. As badly as he wanted to please Boris like he had him, he knew he couldn’t, lest he wanted to risk throwing up. Looking down at how much was left to go, he immediately became disheartened again. He had never done this, and he knew it showed.

Boris, however, paid it no mind as he grabbed the sides of Sasha’s head and bucked his hips against it, thrusting his cock further into him. He began fucking his mouth, trying to force himself deeper in, only relenting once Sasha started to gag.

“Sorry,” Boris laughed, but his voice was raspy with pleasure, and Sasha could tell he was getting close.

“No keeping going,” Sasha released him momentarily. “Fuck me harder, Borja. I know you want to.”

“You have no fucking idea,” he retorted, his breath shaking slightly.

He continued, and this time Boris didn’t hold back. He grabbed roughly at Sasha’s sweaty hair, yanking it painful as he pulled upwards on it before slamming his head down. Sasha’s eyes watered as he felt several strands come loose, but he didn’t care.

“Oh, Sasha I’m gonna come,” Boris moaned loudly. “Can I…” He panted, “in your mouth?”

Sasha looked up at him, his eyes betraying a fire he didn’t know he had, and nodded.

“God, you’re absolutely filthy!” Boris exclaimed. “I love it!”

A few more thrusts, and Boris finally came. The moment Sasha’s mouth was flooded with the hot, salty liquid he recoiled, his face contorting. It was disgusting. He tried to force it down, but his body screamed at him not to swallow. In the end he resorted to frantically grabbing his empty glass from earlier and spitting it out, sputtering and coughing as he did.

“Easy now Sasha!” Boris put a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to, I just… couldn’t swallow it,” Sasha winced, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Boris just laughed.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Eventually,” he reached up, wiping a thin trail of the milky white liquid from the corner of his lips. “Missed a spot.”

——

A bright flash of lightning followed by a near deafening clap of thunder shook the building. Sasha hadn’t even noticed until then that it had started to rain.

“Shit!” He cursed under his breath, looking at the darkened window to the downpour beyond.

Boris raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“I live 15 minutes away,” Sasha sighed. “And with weather this bad I-”

“Stay here then,” Boris stopped him. He stood up, pulling his pants up as he walked to the kitchen to pour himself another drink.

Sasha smiled. A part of him was hoping he would offer, but still he pushed back. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”

Boris looked up, and Sasha saw that he had prepared not one, but two glasses of vodka.

“Oh come on Sasha, you know you’re always welcome here. Especially now, now that I know you give head the way you do.”

Convinced, and blushing slightly at the compliment, Sasha caved. Inside he was relieved Boris was so willing to open his home to him; something in the thought of being alone now, especially after all that, made his heart ache.

“Alright. Can you get me a blanket or something? I'll just make myself comfortable on the sofa her-”

“Sasha.” Boris shook his head. “Come sleep with me.” 

——

“You enjoying yourself?” Boris whispered, his mouth pressed against Sasha’s ear, as he snuggled in closer. He had wasted no time getting comfortable; the moment Sasha crawled into bed beside him, he was on him, holding him tight.

“Very much,” his tone became firm. “But, Boris?”

“Hmm?” Already barely awake.

“You know this is a one-time thing, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.”

“I mean it Boris.”

“No, no I get it,” He paused. “Either way, it was good practice for Leonid.”

Sasha’s head shot back. “Boris, can you stop with that?” He snapped.

“Aleksandr Fyodorovich, you’re not jealous, are you?” He teased, nibbling softly on his ear.

Sasha sighed, exasperated. “Fine. You know what? Yes. Yes I am. Happy now?”

“I knew it. You can’t hide shit from me.” Boris laughed. “Sorry.”

His tone was one of mock condescension, but despite his good nature, Sasha felt the anger rise to his face.

A cold, cruel retort formed on his tongue. He opened his mouth, preparing to let loose on him, but was stopped when he felt Boris’ lips graze his neck.

He left a trail of wet kisses from his jawline to his collarbone, stopping occasionally to gently tug at the soft skin with his teeth. Sasha’s anger instantly died away as he moaned softly.

“Oh Sasha, what are we going to do with you?” Boris nuzzled his shoulder, the hairs of his mustache brushing against his skin as he did.

“Borja, stop! That tickles!” Sasha couldn’t suppress a small giggle, feeling the other man smile. He remained silent though, and before long Sasha could sense his breathing gradually slow till he was surely asleep.

For a while he lay there, basking in the warmth companionship brought as he wished for something, for someone, well out of his reach. It was all he wanted, this closeness, with the man he yearned so dearly for. Now that he knew what it felt like, it began to consume him, the thought of holding Leonid’s slender form tight against his own making his whole body ache.

He closed his eyes, trying to forget it was Boris who lay beside his as he buried his desires deep inside himself until he too drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The sound of two pairs of footsteps roused Leonid from his brooding. Slowly he lifted his head from his folded arms, turning his tired eyes to the door of the control room where Sasha and Boris had entered side by side. Instantly he forced what he hoped was a convincing smile as he waved silently at them, turning back to the panel before they could sense anything was off.

From behind him he heard Sasha’s usual “morning Leonid!” as bright and cheerful as ever, before he felt the man’s unmistakable presence at his side.

As subtly as he could, Leonid inched his chair to the side, trying to turn away from his mentor. Sasha didn’t need to see the sorrow that was starting to tug at his features, lurking dangerously close to the surface.

There was a light tapping on his upper arm, demanding his attention, and reluctantly, Leonid turned to see a notably happy Sasha holding several sheets of paper.

“From the fourth shift,” Sasha placed the papers, detailing the previous shift’s control rod configurations and power outputs, into his lightly trembling hands. Finally noticing his discomfort, Sasha lowered his voice.

“Is everything alright?” He asked quietly, his sea green eyes dark with concern. Leonid felt heat rise to his cheeks as he realized that he was noticeably shaking, but it was nothing compared to the tears that began to well in his eyes.

“Hey Leonid?” Sasha asked again after a second. “Leonid, what’s wrong?”

The moment Sasha put a gentle hand on his shoulder, he couldn’t hold back. Tears began spilling down face as his lips quivered, threatening to release the sob that had been building in his throat.

“It’s ok, Leonid,” Sasha said reassuringly, rubbing his back as more tears fell. By now both Boris and Igor had noticed the scene playing out at the control panel, and were watching it unfold intently.

Leonid turned his face from them, shame burning inside of him, yet they still stared, Boris unable to hide an amused smirk. It wasn’t until Sasha glared sharply at the both of them that they finally turned back to their panels, shooting the occasional glance over their shoulders.

“Come on, let’s get you some fresh air,” Sasha leaned in, whispering softly as he gently tugged the sleeve of his uniform.

Reluctantly, Leonid rose from his seat. He didn’t want to face Sasha, the embarrassment of acting like a child burning him up inside, but looking from Boris’ confused, if not slightly entertained expression, once again fixed on him, to Sasha’s face, so full of care and genuine worry, he knew anything would be better than remaining in the control room.

A few engineers lingered in the hallway outside. Leonid tried to hide his tear streaked face behind his hands, but it turned out he didn’t need to; Sasha took hold of his shoulders, steering him away from them, taking great care to hide the sobbing man behind him.

Opening a door on their left, Sasha ushered him into a lonely stairwell. The moment the door closed behind him, he turned to Leonid.

“Hey, it’s alright, calm down,” his voice was soft, kind, and for a moment Leonid felt the tears stop falling. “What’s going on?”

Leonid sniffled, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to look at Sasha.

“I don’t deserve to be here.”

His voice wavered pitifully as he spoke and almost instantly he felt Sasha take a light hold on both his arms. When he opened his eyes he saw just how much the distance between them had shrunk. His breath caught in his throat, seeing Sasha’s face so close to his, smelling his faint cologne, feeling the warmth of his large hands through the fabric of his uniform.

“Leonid, what are you saying?” Sasha shook his head. “Don’t tell me you’re planning on quitting.”

For a moment Leonid couldn’t speak. He remained quiet, searching for the right words. He didn’t want to leave, to let down his comrades. _To let down Boris and Sasha._ However he felt so impossibly small next to them. A liability.

“I- I don’t know,” he finally said. “I don’t want to go, to leave you guys, but with every new day I feel like I belong here less.”

“What do you mean?” Sasha’s confusion was sincere, and Leonid wondered why it was so hard for him to see how useless he was. _How was he able to trick such a brilliant man into thinking he belonged?_

“Everyday I realize how little I know. I’m starting to fear that maybe I am too young for this. There’s just too much I need to learn,” he paused. “I feel like I’m drowning Sasha.”

“Leonid,” Sasha’s voice was heavy with affection. “You are one of the smartest trainees I’ve ever had the pleasure of mentoring. I mean that. You have more aptitude than you realize, and it would be a shame to lose you now, when you’re just beginning to find your place here.”

“Am I though?” Leonid sniffled. “Sasha, I swear I’ve read every book, every manual I can get my hands on, but it doesn’t matter; everyday all I ever do is ask questions and-”

“And that’s a good thing! You’re learning! And you’re doing so much faster than Igor when he started. Than Boris when he did,” Sasha paused. “Than me when I was new.”

Leonid’s eyes lit up, a smile warming his features as Sasha continues.

“It’s ok to not know everything. How young are you? 25? No one is expecting you to become an expert right away. That’s why I’m here at your side.” He laughed. “And I’ll let you in on a little secret: the feeling of drowning, of being in over your head, it never goes away, especially if you got Dyatlov breathing down your neck.”

Leonid scoffed. “I overheard him talking the other day. About me-”

“Leonid, don’t let him get to you. Whatever he said about you, I don’t want to know. One, because it will piss me off and two, it’s not worth getting down over. We all get graced by his insults from time to time, some, and I shall not name names, more than others. You just gotta learn to let it go.”

Leonid shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, still slick with tears. “I just don’t understand what his problem is.”

“His problem,” Sasha propped a hand on his hip, smiling bitterly, “is that he’s an asshole.”

“And Leonid,” he continued after a moment. “I mean everything I said, I really do. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t believe it.”

Warmth filled Leonid’s chest and instantly he felt his cheeks burn. He turned his head from Sasha, trying to hide his blushing face. Trying to hide just how much his words meant to him.

It was no use; the moment he did, Sasha was there, pulling him into a tight hug. Leonid fought back the urge to cry again as he felt Sasha’s hands, so strong and steady, gently stroking his back, calming every fried nerve they touched.

“Thank you Sasha,” Leonid held tightly to him, refusing to let go. “You have no idea how much this place means to me. How much you mean to me.” He felt Sasha’s embrace tighten at that, and he in turn snuggled closer, vaguely aware of an indistinct longing building in his stomach.

“You belong here Lenya. I promise you that you do.” Sasha whispered.

Leonid’s heart skipped a beat hearing Sasha refer to him like that, but as to why, he couldn’t say.

“Do you think they’re missing us in the control room?” He asked, trying to shake it off.

“Well I don’t know if they’re missing us per say,” Sasha finally pulled away, leaving Leonid feeling suddenly empty. “But I sure as hell don’t trust Boris and Igor in there alone for too long.” He let out a good natured laugh, shaking his head before walking to the door.

Opening it, he turned back to Leonid who was still standing in place. “Shall we?”

Wiping his eyes a final time, Leonid scrambled to meet Sasha out in the hallway.

As they walked in a comfortable silence, Leonid was suddenly his with another, newer anxiety.

“Sasha?”

“Hmm?”

“Has Boris… has he ever said anything to you? About me?”

Sasha raised an eyebrow, and Leonid could swear he saw the man stiffen a bit. “No…” he said after a moment, his brow furrowing slightly. “Why?”

“He always tells me I can come to him, but I don’t know, I feel I annoy him with all my questions.”

“Well, he’s never said anything about that to me, but,” Sasha turned to him. “If that’s how you feel, then perhaps you should just annoy me with your questions instead!”

He laughed, Leonid joining in as they made their way back into the control room. 

That night, Leonid dreamed again, but this time it wasn’t of Boris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again if you made it this far! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it!


End file.
